Personality Plus: How to Understand Others by Understanding Yourself Read online

  Marita followed the pattern by bringing home from the produce department of the grocery store “Jimmy Vegetable,” followed by “Paul Police.” “Peter Painter” owned a paint company, and “Manny Money” was rich.

  Only Popular Sanguines can take the weakness of a poor memory and turn it into a family tradition.

  Hold On to the Listener

  Because Popular Sanguines are very warm and physical people, they tend to hug, kiss, pat, and stroke their friends. This contact is so natural to them, they don’t even notice Perfect Melancholies backing into corners, as they approach with outstretched arms.

  My daughter Marita and I are both Popular Sanguines, and we love to hug each other. Since we work together, we see each other in the office and enjoy constant contact. One day Marita went out to lunch with a friend and later went shopping in Harris’s, our local department store. In midafternoon, I went over to Harris’s and saw Marita at the makeup counter. My natural reaction was to call, “Marita, my love!” She ran toward me, crying, “Mother Dove.” We grabbed each other as long-lost friends, and kissed and hugged over the table of talcum powder. The clerk stood quietly as Marita explained, “This is my mother.”

  “I assumed so,” she stated. “How long has it been since you’ve seen each other?”

  Marita and I answered in unison, “A couple of hours.”

  “Oh, my,” she gasped. “I thought it was at least a year.”

  Not only are Popular Sanguines “feely,” but they frequently hold on to the people they are talking to in order to be in close contact and to make sure their audience doesn’t get away. There is nothing that would do Popular Sanguines more psychological damage than to lose their audience before getting to the punch line.

  Good on Stage

  As you begin to understand the personalities, you will apply them in every area of life. The correct use of this knowledge will keep you from many mistakes and provide you with a ready feel for placing people in their proper positions. Popular Sanguines have an innate sense of the dramatic and a magnetic attraction to center stage and the lens of a camera. They gravitate to excitement and create more if the party begins to die down.

  Popular Sanguines make excellent greeters, hosts, receptionists, masters of ceremony, and club presidents. They can be hilarious and arouse enthusiasm in all but the dullest of hearts. Give Popular Sanguines an audience and they’ll start a script.

  Wide-Eyed and Innocent

  Popular Sanguine is the one personality that always appears to be wide-eyed and innocent. Popular Sanguines are naive and have childlike simplicity into old age. They aren’t really dumber than other temperaments; they just sometimes look that way.

  I have a friend Patti who is a perfect example. She has huge, brown eyes, and to show them up even more, she tops them with sweeping false eyelashes. She always looks as if she’s standing around under a pair of awnings. Whatever you tell Patti, she bats her lashes and responds, “Why, I never ever thought of that!”

  One day my husband asked me, “Hasn’t Patti ever heard of anything?” For Popular Sanguine everything is a fresh thought.

  Enthusiastic and Expressive

  Popular Sanguines are emotional and demonstrative people who are optimistic and enthusiastic over almost everything. Whatever you bring up, they want to do, and wherever you mention going, they want to go. They move, jump, wave, and wiggle. A Popular Sanguine pastor I know often gets so excited over his sermon that he feels encumbered with one hand holding the Bible and only one free for waving, so he rises up and down on his toes and makes emphatic points with a kick of one foot. If you don’t happen to be fascinated with his subject matter, you will be enthralled watching to see how long he can do this jig without losing his balance.

  One girl described her Popular Sanguine family by saying, “We grew up in a house where emotions were dripping off the wall.”

  My friend Connie owns several beauty shops, and she told me she tries to hire Popular Sanguine hairdressers, because they are the only ones who can keep enthusiastic while listening to all the depressing problems of the patrons all day. “By afternoon their stations are a mess, the rollers are all over the place, and they are borrowing combs from each other. But they do make it through each day in one piece, and I just hire a cleaning lady to come in each night and put the place back in order.”

  The word extraordinary must have been created to describe Popular Sanguines because their every thought and word is way beyond the ordinary and is definitely extra. Miss Piggy hit on a Popular Sanguine truth when she said in her fashion tips, “Too much is never enough.”

  Curious

  Popular Sanguines are always curious and don’t want to miss anything. At parties, if one is involved in one conversation and hears his name mentioned across the room, he will stop midsentence and turn to the new voice. Many times Popular Sanguine is like a radio on which someone is spinning the dial, tuning in and out of different stations. Popular Sanguine minds flit quickly from one conversation to another, so they will not miss a thing.

  They always want to “know everything.” Secrets drive them crazy. They snoop for Christmas presents, and they always find out about surprise showers.

  Popular Sanguines also want to investigate anything they don’t already know about. One lady told me she was having her roof reshingled and she had no idea how it was done, so she climbed up the ladder. Imagine how surprised the workers were as she appeared at the top and crawled over toward the chimney. They tried to get her to go down before she fell, but she told them she wanted to learn about roofing. One man helped her up to the chimney, where she could sit and watch. As she asked questions and gestured with enthusiasm, she leaned back, lost her balance, and fell into the chimney. She screamed and the men scrambled to rescue her. It took four men to pull her out, one on each foot and hand. She had scraped her whole back on the bricks, and her white pants were covered with soot. As the men helped her over to the ladder, one said, “We don’t need your Mary Poppins act up here.”

  Always a Child

  One reason Popular Sanguines keep childlike ways is that they were such adorable children. They were doted upon by parents and teachers, and they don’t want to leave this “center of attention” life. Another reason is that they don’t really want to grow up. While other temperaments desire to leave childhood behind, the Popular Sanguine likes the world of make-believe. The girls are all Cinderellas and the boys are Prince Charmings. In the stories, Prince Charmings never work. They ride off into the sunset on white chargers, but they never have to go look for a job. Age brings responsibility, and Popular Sanguines innately would rather avoid settling down in life as long as possible.

  Volunteers for Jobs

  Since Popular Sanguines want to be helpful and popular, they volunteer without any thought of the consequences. One night at a party, Linda and Vonice were discussing their baby-sitting problems. Linda needed suggestions for an all-night sitter for her five children. Popular Sanguine Vonice said, “Don’t worry, Linda, we will find you someone.” As the time of the occasion drew near, Linda called Vonice to see how we were doing and found out Vonice had gone to Europe for a month’s vacation.

  Don’t count on the Popular Sanguine’s we, for we may not remember what we volunteered to do.

  One night as Fred and I were teaching temperaments to a group in New York, I mentioned how Popular Sanguines volunteer and don’t follow through. “For example,” I said, “if a Popular Sanguine had volunteered to make the coffee for our break tonight, we would find that she had forgotten even to plug in the pot.” At that point, an adorable, bright-eyed girl in the front row screamed, ran up the aisle, and disappeared into the kitchen. She was a Popular Sanguine; she had volunteered to make the coffee; she had never plugged in the pot; and we had nothing to drink that night. Popular Sanguines love to volunteer, and they mean well, but if you want coffee, you’d better plug it in yourself!

  Creative and Colorful

  The Popular Sanguine
’s mind is always thinking up new and exciting ideas. With each day come new challenges countered with creative activities. In any committee meeting it is the Popular Sanguine who dreams up the ideas, gets the vision for decorating the hall, and chooses a unique and exciting theme for the project.

  When Lauren was in second grade, she told her teacher, “My mother always does special things for parties,” and they chose me as Room Mother. My first major assignment was the Halloween Party, and Lauren kept reminding me she’d promised I’d do something really different.

  This childlike confidence stirred my creative juices, and I began to plan a Halloween party the second-graders would never forget. Lauren scoffed at the mothers who brought in Kool-Aid and Styrofoam cups, so I planned orange-juice punch to be served in a big glass bowl, surrounded by little crystal cups. As my mind pictured this scene, I devised a floating ice ring, embedded with candy pumpkins. On the day of the party I went to the baker and picked up the custom cupcakes with cute black cats on the tops, the special Halloween napkins, and the party hats for each child to wear. I made three gallons of bright-orange punch and put it all in an open plastic bucket, with the ice ring bobbing on the top. I set the cupcakes on one side of the car floor in the back and the bucket on the other side.

  Being Popular Sanguine I was naturally running late, so I threw on the orange dress I had made for the party and backed hastily down my sloping drive. Just as I turned into the street, another car shot by, and I slammed on the brakes. As I heard what sounded like the surf at San Clemente, I knew the party was over. I looked fearfully into the back to see an ocean of orange juice with twenty-eight black cats bobbing atop the cupcakes, trying not to drown.

  I arrived late and bedraggled, carrying a few packages of Kool-Aid, a box of vanilla wafers, and wearing the ice ring over my left wrist. Lauren cried throughout the party, and I was never asked to be Room Mother again!

  Popular Sanguines can always come up with creative and colorful ideas, but they need some rational friends to help carry them out.

  Inspires and Charms Others

  Because Popular Sanguines have an abundance of energy and enthusiasm, they tend to attract and inspire others. Harry Truman once said that leadership is the ability to inspire others to work and make them enjoy doing it. This statement sums up Popular Sanguines and shows their subtle style of leadership. The effective Popular Sanguine thinks up the ideas and charms others into carrying them out to a productive conclusion. As Popular Sanguines begin to understand themselves, they realize they are starters, but they need friends who are finishers.

  Popular Sanguine politicians have the gift of inspiring confidence in their constituents and then getting them to do the work. Really clever Popular Sanguines can have people begging to work for them for no pay. My brother Ron had this knack from childhood, and I recognized his ability to charm and motivate long before I’d ever heard of Popular Sanguines. Ron used his wit and charm to avoid work whenever possible. During the Korean War, Ron joined the army and was sent overseas on a huge troopship. On his first night out of San Francisco he heard an announcement: “Tomorrow morning you will all meet on deck and receive your work assignments for the remainder of the voyage.”

  Since Popular Sanguines avoid work at all cost, Ron began to conjure up a plan to keep from scrubbing decks. That next morning when the troops were called, Ron took a clipboard with paper and pen and stood next to the sergeant who was giving out the assignments. As the sergeant read off names and duties, “You ten for latrines, you twenty for scraping paint,” Ron encouraged him and took a few notes. After all the men but Ron had been divided up into work groups, the sergeant dared speculate, “What is your job here?”

  “I am in charge of the Talent Show,” he replied with a voice of authority.

  “I didn’t know there was one planned,” Sarge said in surprise.

  “Oh, yes,” Ron assured him. “We will have an exciting show on our last night before we dock. It will take me the whole trip to plan it. Incidentally, sir, you did a splendid job in assigning all the work. We’ll see you around.” With those positive words, Ron went off to spend two pleasant weeks of relaxation. As he strolled the deck, watching others scrape paint, he asked the men if they had any talent. It is amazing that men with no voice on shore became singers at sea, and Ron wrote down a list of performers on his clipboard. He gathered them all together on the final afternoon for a rehearsal, and then developed his humorous patter to hold it all together. That night every man joyfully attended. No one ever questioned his assignment, and the show was a hilarious climax to a dull trip. A few weeks later Ron received a parchment scroll from the government, honoring him as the one man on the ship who deserved recognition for lifting the morale of the troops.

  Only a Popular Sanguine could spend two weeks doing nothing and be the only one to receive a commendation for having done it.

  Makes Friends Easily

  There are no strangers to Popular Sanguines, for on saying hello, they become your friends. While others hesitate or hold back, Popular Sanguine opens conversations with anyone available. As I stand in line at the checkout counter, invariably I start talking with someone. All I have to do is look in someone’s basket, and I find topics to talk on.

  One day as I stood in line with my Perfect Melancholy teenage son, I noticed the lady ahead of us had a basket full of bread. Since I felt this was beyond the ordinary, I asked her why she had so much bread. She told me she was going to a church supper, and she had been assigned to bring the bread. I asked her what church she attended, and soon we were into a deep discussion on doctrine. We both found the time profitable, and we parted friends. On the way to the car, my son Fred said, “It is so embarrassing to go to the store with you.”

  Typically wide-eyed and innocent I asked, “What do you mean?”

  “You asked that poor lady why she had all that bread. It’s none of your business why a stranger buys bread. I just won’t stand in line with you anymore.”

  While a Popular Sanguine feels her friendly nature is an asset, someone of another temperament does not necessarily agree. One evening while out to dinner, I left Fred and another couple to go to the ladies’ room. As I washed my hands, I noticed a girl sitting alone on the plastic couch. “Is there something wrong?” I asked.

  She sighed and then sobbed, so I sat down beside her. She was a new bride, and she had just had a fight with her husband. I analyzed the problem, told her how to apologize, and sent her back to her mate. When I returned to my table, Fred asked what took me so long, and I explained how I made this new friend who needed help. The lady with us looked at me horror-stricken and said, “Isn’t it dangerous to be friendly to strangers in the ladies’ room?”

  It may be to other temperaments, but a Popular Sanguine makes friends easily anywhere, even in ladies’ rooms.

  Seems Exciting

  Since Popular Sanguines always do things with flair, they seem to be living more exciting lives than their friends. It’s not that what they do is so unusual, but that their retelling of any event adds to its actuality.

  A Popular Sanguine man sat next to me on a plane and started talking immediately about Hollywood personalities, giving the impression he was on close terms with the whole set.

  “Wasn’t it awful about Joan Crawford? There was a lady. What a hole this leaves in our town! When we lost Susan Hayward, I knew Hollywood was dead. The last time I was in the airport with her, she looked beautiful. I followed her through LAX and couldn’t get my eyes off her gorgeous red hair. She walked like a queen! When we lose Bette Davis, we’ll know it’s all over!”

  As he paused for a breath, I asked him if he was a Hollywood producer, and he said, “Oh, no, I wish I were; but I get to see a lot of the stars because I’m a desk clerk for American Airlines.”

  Here was a Popular Sanguine giving me personal pronouncements about the queens of Hollywood from his vantage point as a desk clerk. Whatever Popular Sanguines do always seems exciting, and others
envy them when, in reality, they may have had fewer genuine experiences than those in awe.

  Popular Sanguine has an unconscious ability to turn any simple task into a main event. One evening, as the whole family was gathered in the living room at our daughter Lauren’s home, Marita decided to make popcorn. She jumped up and left for the kitchen, followed by four-year-old Randy. About ten minutes later, little Randy came running into the living room with his eyes round and bright like headlights.

  “Come see the popcorn. It’s shooting all over the place!”

  We ran into the kitchen to see popcorn exploding like fluffy rockets out of the top of an air popper. We all grabbed bowls and tried to catch corn as it shot by. Marita had poured too much corn into the new air popper, turned it on, and left for the bathroom, leaving Randy in charge. The mistake turned into a hilarious party game, as we all chased the airborne corn, and little Randy thinks Aunt Marita’s kind of corn is the only way to pop!